Look for The Good by Renee Schwartz

For several months I have been thinking about writing a follow-up to the student discovery blog I wrote in March 2014 about my Dharma lessons with Tracy.  What I’m writing now is quite different than what it would have been if it had been written even two or three weeks ago.

Loosely defined, Dharma is your life’s path, how you live your life responsibly, knowing and respecting your authentic self. Each person’s dharmic path is different.  Dharma lessons bring awareness to reducing suffering and remind us to live in the present.

My Dharma lessons have covered the Yamas (moral restraints, such as non-violence and nonstealing) and the Niyamas (self discipline, such as cleanliness and self-study).  The principles of the Yamas and Niyamas have been applied to experiences as wide ranging as fear, aging, injury, obstacles and challenges faced and overcome, spirituality, the wonder of nature and our role in it, death, life, and everything in-between.

Tracy leads the lessons with wisdom, compassion, and patience, which doesn’t mean that she doesn’t also challenge and make me look deeply at things I might rather ignore.  And we don’t always agree.  But the lessons, always instructive, sometimes difficult and painful, sometimes incredibly illuminating and freeing, have made a real difference in my life.

What I have come to realize these last few weeks is that the Dharma lessons have changed me in ways I hadn’t fully appreciated.  I knew that I was more open to people and experiences, and sometimes, at least, less fearful.  I knew that I could at least sometimes pause before I responded so that I didn’t say or do something that would hurt someone else, or me.   I more often than before have a better sense of my authentic self, and can more often make decisions based on my truths rather than on what I think others might expect.

What I wasn’t as aware of was how the Dharma lessons have influenced my actions and reactions to the events of the world.  The last few weeks and months have been particularly difficult locally, nationally, and internationally.  News about violence and hatred spews out from radios, TVs, newspapers, computers.  It is overwhelming, and I feel intense sorrow and despair.

Now, however, I am also more aware of my ability and responsibility to shift my energy.  The world is suffering and there are grave ills to be addressed.  From my Yoga practice in general, and the Dharma lessons in particular, I can focus on sending love into a hate-filled world.   I can better look for ways each day to add light rather than darkness, hope rather than fear, peace and healing rather than hatred.  It is not all that can be done, but it is surely a better place to work from than where I would have been without Yoga and the Dharma lessons.

 ‘Look for the good’ Tracy often says. ‘Be present, trust your intuition, pause before you act.’ I often resist.  But step by step, I grow.

As always, I’m eager to share if anyone would like to know more about my Dharma lesson experience.

Update from Maureen

In April 2015, I wrote some of my life story and the positive role the practice of Yoga has made to my state of well-being.
Now, I have an update. 
On October 6, I had a left hip revision , which resulted in a new ball and socket. This was the fourth surgery on this hip and I was told it should last until "they throw dirt on my face".
After three years of Yoga, 3 to 4 times per week with the very best Yoga instructor, Tracy Von Kaenel and her Yoga community, I knew that I was stronger and more flexible going into the surgery than I had ever been. However, it wasn't until after the surgery, when I first stood up and started doing therapy that I knew for a fact that this was going to be the best outcome I have had post any previous surgery. Decreased pain and a rapid return to functionality where proof that Yoga really does make a difference.
I am deeply grateful to Tracy and to my Yoga family for the love and support you gave me and continue to give me as I slowly progress on toward a full Yoga practice once again. 
Namaste
Thank you  Thank you
Maureen Littlefield

Five Feathers of Aerial Yoga by Donald Gecewicz

1. Balance

We rely much on the floor remaining where it is and on distributing our weight upon it on our two feet and, sometimes, a hand. Even Warrior 3 is bound to the floor. Black silk changes that relationship and re-balances. I like to swing wrapped in the “pod” at the end, feeling my ears and the little bones in the ears re-calculating balance and equilibrium. Once back on the floor, and in floor positions, I find that my balance is reset and refined.

And here’s a haiku

like any pose balancing

on slim fingertips.

2. Strength
In floor work, we both become strong and experience our strength through standing still. Standing still is a sensation with much meaning, given how unsettled everything is. Aerial involves more movement—but movement that is strengthening because it is steady. Hefting the body. Testing the arms. Lifting yourself up. Using the hips to pivot slowly. Muscles engage differently from positions on the floor, and the body becomes toned differently.

The daily forces

hold us up but wrist locks

unlock new strengths

3. Harmony

In Chinese poetry, a poem harmonizes with another if it reflects the tones of the words and the structure of the rimes. The poses in the air harmonize with poses on the floor. We are familiar with being dogs, warriors, and birds on the ground. Insight comes as we reconfigure the pose while suspended. A tree on a cliff, a dancer mid-leap, a tiger climbing. The poses in the air test muscles in a new way. It’s good to go from floor to mid-air, from aerial yoga to more traditional floor work, harmonizing the two styles. Hovering also realigns the skeleton, sometimes with a crackle toward symmetry.

That stork hovering

above the shining wood

may be me, airborne.

4. Antigravity

Aerial yoga is an easy experiment to feel what else supports us: Our arms suspended, our feet wrapped in cloth, the air itself, our hips and legs pointed up rather than down. Even if only a few feet off the ground, aerial positions alter our body’s anticipation of heft and perception of weight. We also feel, again, that air has mass. We slide and glide within the air as birds do. I am reminded of a Thai carving that I have of a hamsa, the sacred swan. The flight of the hamsa symbolizes moksha or nirvana--release. All that, and a good workout.

Antigravity

to arrive at perception

that there is no down

5. Learning to Fly

If you have misgivings about flipping over and remaining suspended, the way to dispel hesitancy is to do it. It enhances health to experience a minor fear melting away. Doing yoga with winged feet makes me a better airline passenger, a better flyer. I have felt my own body cutting the air, much as an airplane does. So there is a practical, psychic benefit.

That flight to Zurich

chocolates and levity:

cloudless, so much light.

Yoga IS For Everyone! by Maureen Littlefield

If you are 65 or older, with one or more joint replacements, you may think YOGA is not for you.

Consider my story:

     It begins when I first started to walk and my parents noticed I walked with a limp. My left leg was smaller and shorter than the right leg. Years of traction, braces, and physical therapy did not make me better. The Physicians did not know what was wrong. My parents had Pulmonary Tuberculosis and there were no cures in the early fifties and they passed away. When I was nine, my mother’s sister and her husband took me in their home, and my brother and sister went to other relatives. In those days no one could afford to take all three of us and raise us together. My Aunt Ruth, who I loved very much, took me to the University of Illinois where they said I had Tuberculosis of the left hip joint. My siblings did not contract the disease and I see it as fortunate that it settled in my hip and not in my lungs as I would not be here now.

When I was 15yrs old, my entire hip joint was removed and replaced with a portion of my fibula bone which is called a hip fusion. After 2yrs of medicinal treatment and the surgery my TB was gone. That hip fusion served me well for 31yrs, but the down side was that all of my muscles on the left side from the knee to lower back shriveled up

due to lack of use. So, in 1993 at the age of 47, they took down the fusion and put in a new artificial hip joint. What a joy this was as after much therapy I could ride a bike, bend over and tie my shoes and do many other everyday tasks.

     So, this brings me to the present. In 2012, at the age of 65, I had a left knee replacement and I was told “you need YOGA”.  This is not a direction in which I would have gone for exercise as I did not know or understand the value of YOGA. Now, after three years of taking YOGA classes, at least three to four times a week, my strength, flexibility and peace of mind have greatly improved. I had then and still have the good fortune to have Tracy Von Kaenel as my YOGA instructor. Tracy’s YOGA community is energetic, warm and supportive. She consistently brings a creative skill to each class (no two classes are alike) and more importantly she mentors each of us individually according to our need. She walks around the studio during class observing and making suggestions to modify our YOGA practice to our benefit.

     I am grateful for the progress I have made, in spite of many limitations, thanks to the unfailing skill, encouragement and good cheer Tracy brings to each class.

     COME JOIN US

Living Our Dharmic Path by Renee Schwartz

A year ago I began dharma lessons with Tracy, and the anniversary prompted me to think about where I’ve been and where I’m going, and to share it with my yoga friends….

What would a life look like if yoga philosophy and teachings were actively applied to it?  What would my life look like?  What would happen if I expanded my yoga practice to look seriously at what it offered as a guide to a more mindful way of approaching each day? Was it really possible to view life differently, and did I want to?

These questions and many others like them led me to begin taking dharma lessons with Tracy.  Loosely defined, Dharma is your life’s path, how you live your life responsibly, knowing and respecting your authentic self. Each person’s dharmic path is different.  Dharma lessons have provided me an opportunity to examine my beliefs, fears, and actions/reactions, and to open my mind and heart to other ways of seeing myself and the world.  The lessons encourage me to be mindful and present, to be guided by ahimsa (nonviolence toward all sentient beings), to reduce suffering.

Each session is structured around a question or a specific yogic concept.  Lessons have ranged from exploring what is my authentic self, to reducing the power fear has over my life (keeps me from being my authentic self and much more), to living more fully in the present, to examining the yamas and niyamas such as ahimsa (nonviolence), santosa (contentment), aparigraha (non-hoarding) and how they relate to daily situations. 

We continue with a topic until it seems time to move on to the next topic, and each one acts as a building block for what comes next.  As you might expect, the most difficult thing is to truly absorb and live by what I’ve learned.  There are moments of great clarity when my actions are focused and positive and increase my wellbeing.  And there are times when it seems like I’m back at square one and haven’t moved forward at all.  Each time that happens I look at where I came from and know I have moved forward, and also know that there’s still more work ahead.

Tracy has been incredibly helpful in this process.  She is supportive and gentle, and also deeply and keenly probing.  She blends her knowledge of yoga philosophy with practical applications that encourage me to incorporate the teachings into my daily life. 

Tracy’s truths and my truths are not always the same, and that is fine because it makes me question deeply whatever we’re working on.  Sometimes I realize my ‘truths’ are old truths and not who I am now.  Other times I hold on to my truths (at least for right now!) and Tracy respects that.  Probably the most important aspect of taking dharma lessons with Tracy is that I trust her, and know that wherever the lessons take me, it will be in a safe and supportive environment. 

It has been an intense year of self-study and discovery, some of it joyful and liberating, some of it difficult and painful.  There have been laughter and tears, doubts and breakthroughs, hard work and contentment.  It is a journey I’m thankful I began and am grateful to continue - and I’m eager to share if anyone would like to know more about the experience.

Balancing an Unbalanced Body, Mind and Soul

I was a few minutes late and the door was closed and people were all kinds of posed, lights low and I just figured it was terrible manners to walk in on a calm atmosphere like that all loud & late (since I am no delicate butterfly when I enter a room)... Defeated I turned around headed back down the hall and ran smack dab into a pregnant woman all geared up in YOGA wear

"Oh hi --are you in the YOGA class?"

"Yes I am"

"Did it start already? I don't want to be rude"

"No I just think people are getting situated its ok to go in"

"Well its my first time here I was unsure what to expect"

"Mine too" she says and we exchanged pleasantries and I followed her lead as we entered the room

It was spectacular...had I not lived in Chicago myself I would have never felt we were in the middle of the city (ok except that the train came by quite a few times..lol) It was a huge lofted old warehouse space..hardwood floors, exposed brick walls, cool lighting and stairs leading to an outside terrace adorned with flowers and all sorts of zen.

I didn't know what to expect as I took my place on the floor next to an older woman who didn't so much as smile at me. I was happy when the instructor welcomed all the "new faces" and some of the regulars clapped as the class began. At first I loathed the bodies around me. These women had long, lean amazing, amazing bodies and then it hit me...I WANT to be in a YOGA class with women who look like this...they are a very good example of what the outcome may be if I stick with it.

I "centered" myself, but struggled to keep my eyes closed at first and be one with my breathing. But then the stretching, and tree poses, my cat and dog and downward dog felt amazing, my sun pose was spectacular and my body started to quiver as I stood on one leg and tried to balance a body so totally and completely foreign to trying to center itself to anything or be one with any sort of calm or balance in its life.

I did get really into it though.

I loved the instructor and her soothing voice, I loved the atmosphere, the people grew on me when I realized we were all in the same boat, I was happy with my cute little YOGA outfit and secretly prayed to God to give me a body JUST like the woman in front of me.

After a good stretch in my child's pose and rocking myself side to side....the class was coming to an end. She slowly talked us into being completely flat on our backs, palms upward, arms at a 45* angle at our sides...softly speaking to let us know where we should "be" as she walked around the room shutting off the lights one by one.

When all was silent and the room pitch black I closed my eyes and was completely alone in my own head.

And for the first time in a loooong time I felt calmness come over me, peace in my heart, spirit in my soul and the tears started to fall.....they ever so lightly rolled to the sides of my temples , into my hair releasing the pain I have been fighting inside for so long. I missed this "happy place" I forgot it existed within me, I didn't think I could find it without Doug in my life, I didn't think I had it in me to be "centered" with out someONE as opposed to someTHING making me feel better.

And the tears that come out when there is only pain....tonight brought me peace instead...

Yoga and Pregnancy...Perfect Partners by Emily Kneer

It was a shock to me when I learned that I was pregnant. Well, maybe not that big of a shock, but still, I did feel my whole world tilt sideways for a while.

So many questions—How does this work? (We’re going to need some books! Which books?!) What can I eat? What can’t I eat? When? What do I do about work? My job is so physical—can I continue working? For how long?

On and on the questions arose, and I found myself wondering, How will being pregnant affect my yoga practice? How long will I be able to continue practicing? And then later in my pregnancy, when I was more comfortable with the idea of being pregnant, the question became, How will yoga affect my pregnancy?

In the beginning, pregnancy didn’t affect my practice at all. I felt pretty good! I was still able to do all the poses and activites I always could do. I was tired pretty often and practice was taxing after a long day, but it was important to my self-esteem to do “as much as I could for as long as I could.” These were explicit doctor’s orders too, and I clung to them as my mantra as the weeks went by. Since I didn’t know exactly how my body was going to change, I was uncertain as to when would be the last time I could do a beloved pose or when I would have to dial down the intensity on the tough stuff.

Further into the first trimester and on through the second, I felt particularly betrayed by my body—I felt I couldn’t trust it anymore. My body’s chemistry, shape, balance, and distribution were all changing on me, and I had zero control over it. I was mad at my body for not being able to do what I demanded of it. That’s when yoga first started affecting my pregnancy. I had to start being forgiving of myself, in my practice and in life. I had to learn to be patient with my body, to think before I demanded something of myself, and to listen to what my body or the little voice in my head said. These were skills I had learned in practice but had not taken into my life yet. And by learning to take these skills into my life, not only did my yoga practice affect my pregnancy, but also my pregnancy affected my yoga practice.

The third trimester brought on big shifts in my body as the baby put on weight. By this time, there were definitely activities and poses that I couldn’t do, but now I was skilled at listening, trusting, and forgiving myself for what I could no longer do. I was much more comfortable, both with the pregnancy and with being Pregnant Emily. (Besides, I had an active little Chili Pepper in there, a growing person that I was rather endeared to by that point!)

Frankly, I was able to do quite a lot even when I was quite far along in my pregnancy. Practice was still challenging, fulfilling, and fun. But in my day-to-day life, folks were really stepping up the rhetoric: “Oh, let me get that for you!” “Oh, you shouldn’t be lifting/pushing/pulling/standing like that!” and other comments of the like became increasingly common. I would laugh and graciously let the person help me, but I was thinking, “If you could see what I do in my yoga class, you’d know there’s no need to jump to my aid. I’m quite capable.” All in all, I had a healthy and easy pregnancy, and not only was I able to stay active longer than I expected, but my body was capable of more than I expected late in my pregnancy too.

By the time my nine months were up, I really could trust my body (although I guarantee you I was not pondering such abstracts at the time!). I had started out feeling betrayed by my body and the seemingly certain sharp decline of my physical capabilities, but I’d since come to realize that because of yoga, I could acutely and completely trust my body (and mind) on the journey of pregnancy. My practice had made me healthy, active, and mindful. I could trust my body to tell me when it had had enough and was tired or in discomfort. I had the presence of mind to listen and adjust without hesitation or judgment.

Moreover, and perhaps most importantly, I could trust my body to do what I asked of it during the delivery itself. I was focused, existing entirely in the present—not frightened or worried about the future. Because of my practice, I was able to relax on cue—so much so that I was able to doze between contractions and save my strength. I was able to quickly identify where I was holding tension and promptly let it go. And finally, being so familiar with my body and its groups of muscles, I was adept at focusing on the physical demands of delivery, allowing me to really isolate my pushes.

So, like so many relationships in this world, one condition helped the other, and vice versa. Yoga absolutely smoothed the path of my pregnancy, in so many ways. And being pregnant brought my yoga practice to a new level of challenge, patience, mindfulness, and forgiveness.

These lessons are continuing to evolve for me as I get back on the mat. I’m fighting hard to get back to the level at which I was practicing before I became pregnant. I’m also fighting hard to forgive myself as I slowly make my progress. But if I never get there again, that’s okay too. I have a sweet little daughter to look after!

The Adventures of Yolanda the Yogini ....... by Ranya Verson

Yolanda had been doing yoga for 18 years or so when she first discovered her super powers. She was a devote yogini, first training under one of the most established teachers in Chicago, moving on to receive a certificate to teach yoga herself and finally finding Tracy Von Kaenel as her ultimate inspiration for claiming her super powers at last.

When Yolanda first began her adventure in yoga, many things hurt. Her lower back constantly pinched and ached, her neck and shoulders screamed and her over-flexibility met praise and accolade, in spite of imminent danger. Like many yogis and yoginis alike, she was a devoted student, making slow but steady progress, completely unaware of her super powers.

When she learned how to use her breath properly, she thought she had found her super power. Although extremely useful, she was to discover that breath alone would not lubricate her limbs into alignment with her core. When Yolanda got certified, she discovered a modicum of upper body strength and was able to do chattaranga with increasing ease. Much to her chagrin, chattaranga did not enable her to transcend into the power and release of a meditative flow. Then Yolanda met Tracy V. Tracy V., a super hero herself, was not forthcoming of where precisely to locate a yoginis super powers. She surely demonstrated super powers and taught her students in the hopes that all her yogis and yoginis would find their super powers, but alas, many wonderful tears and releases later, but still no magic flow.

Then one day Yolanda opened her closet and starring right in front of her was her Bolivian wool blanket that she heroically captured while running over the boarder from Peru to Bolivia in search of much needed warmth from the chilly Andean air. Without a thought, Yolanda toted this blanket to Tracy V's yoga class .

When the blanket appeared in yoga class, her fellow yoginis were suspicious, not to mention a tad jealous. Tracy V. noticed the blanket and named it bankie. Yolanda’s class mates teased her because of bankie in spite of a secret desire to get close to it. With bankie at her side and without warning, she began to feel and move differently.

Then, one day without thought or effort, Yolanda engaged her core, aligned her limbs and stretched into a glorious Warrior One pose. Bankie was at her side. Another evening, Yolanda’s classmates became concerned about the increasing temperature of the room. Yolanda, with a reptilian-craving for warmth, shivered with dread when someone requested that a fan be turned on. The sensation was enough to throw her yoga practice into the toilet, yet she imagined bankie thrown over the fans in the room and completed her “impossible” last chattaranga within form and without collapsing. After following Tracy V, in her re-energized, super-sweaty, Spring sessions, Yolanda welcomed savasana with new meaning as she laid bankie down, creating a cocoon for relaxation. She traveled to an unknown place and deep relaxation that is not of this world.

With bankie at her side, Yolanda can journey to places that she has not gone before. The illusive and hard won, meditative flow is within her reach. Yolanda has found her super powers.

Where do your super powers lurk?

Have You Tried YOGASSAGE?

In case you haven't heard, I'm now offering a special practice called Yogassage! Yogassage is comprised of passive yoga stretching (meaning you lay there, I gently stretch you), acupressure, a little Reiki, a little traditional massage, a little meditation, a little chakra balancing, and a whole lot of tension release. It's very similar to Thai Yoga Massage, but with added stuff (Tracy style). Sessions are done on the padded floor, you stay fully clothed, and they last about an hour to an hour and 1/4. The fee is $85 a session. You will leave feeling soothed, refreshed and relaxed.

Here's what some Yogassage recipients are saying:

"Yogassage is a truly unique, therapeutic, wonderful form of body relaxation! It really ought to be called YogAHHHssage. I liked so much about it: the combination of beneficial elements that Tracy (and ONLY Tracy!) knows how to employ; the fact that it is not entirely passive (There is no risk of falling asleep and drooling or snoring, during a yogassage session!). With her extensive knowledge of the entire body, glandular and muscular-skeletal points, Tracy addresses very gently all regions, tip to toe. I had not requested work on any particular problem area nor muscle strain, but it is apparent that this kind of relaxation therapy would be quite helpful for sore muscles. I did find it to be very relaxing, releasing, healing and pampering. Afterwards, I felt distinctly soothed, invigorated and cleansed! I would absolutely recommend this to anyone----it is a delightfully innovative, highly effective experience! I look forward to my next yogahhhssage!" Miriam Sturm
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"I've had a variety of massages across the globe and always like to try out new treatments. I'd recommend Yogassage for dancers, yogis, and other active people who exercise regularly. I don't think it would be a good option for people who are out of touch with their bodies as they probably don't know how to relax! There's something unique about how the stretches and manipulated adjustments lead to relaxation verses a Swedish massage where it's motionless. The closest examples of similar massages would be Thai or Shiatsu. By relaxing and giving into the movement, a deeper relaxation is achieved than typical massage. Still, it's completely relaxing since the practitioner is doing all the work and the recipient is passive. I think a few sessions will ultimately help anyone's yoga practice as one benefit is a better understanding of the range and limits of movement. I'd recommend Yogassage to all your students, friend, and family as a way to both be pampered and learn a little more about their own bodies." Sona
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"Yogassage: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! What more is there to say? Tracy’s Yogassage is unlike anything I’ve experienced before. A large part of Yogassage is Tracy moving your body in Yoga or yoga-like movements while you’re on the floor. The more you relax, the more she can move you deeper than you can go by yourself. This sounds scary, but it feels wonderful and I have felt released, not sore, afterwards.

I’ve had three Yogassages so far. Twice I’ve gone because of shoulder pain and stiffness in my neck (not surprising considering this winter!). Once I went for general tuning and relaxation. After each Yogassage I feel like I’m floating, and the tightness and pain are gone. It’s difficult to decide if I should stay for Yoga afterwards (which I’ve done twice and have felt an amazing level of fluidity and joy), or if I should go home and wrap myself in the peace that follows the Yogassage.

I think the critical element of Tracy’s Yogassage is Tracy. The same compassion and strength/gentleness and knowledge that are the hallmark of Tracy’s yoga teaching style come through in her Yogassage technique. She just KNOWS where I need work. I think the biggest responsibility we as Yogassage recipients have is to make sure we tell Tracy beforehand of any injuries or medical issues we have so the level of massage will be appropriate.

I found that I got more out of the 2nd Yogassage, and even more out of the 3rd, because I knew what to expect and was able to relax into them more. Can’t wait for the next one!"
Renee Schwartz

So why not treat yourself to a Yogassage session soon? Just contact me anyway that's convenient to set up an appointment. I'm looking forward to seeing you soon!

Namaste,
Tracy

My Life in Yoga by Molly Moynahan

In 1977 I was studying History and English in Dublin, attending Trinity College as a one-year American student. After being cast in a production where I played Sylvia Plath with two other women, one of whom would remain my friend for many years to follow, I saw a sign advertising a yoga class in one of the common rooms costing, I believe 50p. My Irish actress friend and I decided we would attend but first we would visit our favorite Pub and run some lines, drink hot sherry, smoke some cigarettes and eat some crisps (potato chips). Thus fortified we tumbled into a dim room where a candle was lit, something mystical was spinning on a record player and several people were in corpse pose. This we could do. Later we managed a few other poses except my friend attempted a standing backbend and landed on her head. Our teacher, a no-nonsense German, stood over my friend and suggested we not drink before yoga class. Afterwards, she reassured us, was fine. We were hooked.
Later that year I would wind a scarf around my head and attempt to levitate in what was billed a “Man-powered flight contest”. I ended up on the front cover of the Irish Times, my bottom securely anchored to the ground in a passable lotus. My bank manager, even the destitute in Ireland had bank managers, laminated the newspaper clipping and hung it in his window. I was a celebrity.
Thus it started, my lovely relationship with yoga. It has lasted through three husbands, countless jobs, many geographical alterations, moments of incredible joy and personal tragedies. When a drunk driver killed my sister in 1984 I didn’t eat for a long time. One day a friend persuaded me to attend a yoga class and when we were finished I discovered I was still breathing. I traveled to a Buddhist monastery in the Catskills for a weekend workshop and ended up moving in part-time for nearly two years. The Renzai Zen tradition was a harsh discipline. We sat Zazen for many hours in the Zendo and frequently rose at 4am to chant and sit and do work practice. But we also practiced yoga. It was Iyengar with references to skin sliding down bones and props to open and strengthen your body. My teacher sent me to see a famous Iyengar instructor in Manhattan who told me I had fat feet and implied I would be on his list of sexy students if I could drop more weight. “I love my fat feet,” I said, having recently returned from the near dead. I walked away and never returned. For me yoga meant acceptance, it meant non-judgment, it meant I was breathing and above all, safe.
In 1993 I was living in London, hugely pregnant and blissfully happy. The birth practice I was in specialized in water births and yoga practice for its mothers. It did not believe in Caesarians or pain medicine unless absolutely necessary. We did yoga twice a week, countless kegels, squats and various other things to build our strength and flexibility. I was in hard labor for 72 hours. My son, who had been turned in my stomach from a breech position, ended up in a bad place for a speedy birth, his back against my spine. Days passed in a blur of boredom, fear and anticipation; finally he was born with me standing up after a long epidural inspired nap. I was able to take a walk that evening, no tearing, not a single physical scar except the usual pregnancy related body issues. (Oh my God! Is that my body?) When the doctor asked me how I managed to last so long and recover so fast I said, “Yoga.”
We moved to Dallas from London and Texas was not a positive fit. I worked out hard with a trainer who listened to me complain about the shopping malls, driving everywhere, football and big hair. I was restless, lonely and discontent. I avoided Yoga like the plague afraid of confronting my own personal demons in a practice that forced me to see things as they were.
When we moved to Chicago my marriage was on thin ice, I had not published anything in ages and, just like Dallas, I knew no one. Within a year I was separated from my son’s father and facing my forties as a divorced mother who had two novels published, taught at several schools as an adjunct, and who felt like a huge failure. My son attended a child’s camp where there were yoga classes and I found myself back in a dimly lit room trying to quiet the voices in my head.
From that point, I stayed. Tracy taught so perfectly in her imperfection, her support, and her challenging sometimes really hard, sweaty classes. She had a sense of humor but she was dead serious. I went to yoga in the heat, the rain, the snow, after 9/11, after another break-up, when my novel was purchased for lots of money, and when the same publisher rejected the two that followed. I got divorced finally, remarried, my son became a teenager and did terrible things, my father became horribly depressed and twice a week (when possible) I picked up my mat and went to yoga. I remain a beginner in this sanctuary, I remain flawed and in need of adjustment. I remain humble and grateful for the flexibility and soft discipline of my teacher and yoga.

My Path To Yoga - By Janet Mullet

Eight years ago, I spent an evening complaining of chronic neck pain, bad posture and general lumpiness, lamenting a dissatisfaction and rootlessness in my life. My friend responded by inviting me to join her for yoga. It was a small class in the attic of a church, and from the first sun salutation I knew I’d found something special. The combination of physical exertion, mindfulness, and respect for individuality drew me in. My commitment was erratic – I’d go each week for a couple months, then skip several weeks as life got busy, pick it up again, and then lapse – and still, yoga made me feel better. When we bought our first house, I stopped going for almost six months. To my surprise, I found that I really missed it, that I had started to develop an awareness of my body and to appreciate the increased mental clarity. I discovered Tracy’s classes at this point, and dedicated myself to the mat with renewed vigor.

I’ve now been practicing with Tracy for four & a half years, starting with one class a week, then twice per week, and adding a daily home practice about two years ago. Each increase in frequency has made a huge difference – being able to repeat an exercise from class at home, experiment with balance or rotation or extension, makes all the difference in the intellectual and instinctive understanding of each pose. Over time, my home practice has become a living thing, as I learn more about asanas and their effects on body and mind. I’ve discovered how to tailor my practice to my mood, level of energy, particular injuries or discomforts. Mantras heard first in class have become old friends, repeating “I breathe in compassion, I breathe out and release fear” as I work through difficult poses – or difficult times. I’ve learned to be comfortable in my skin, both with greater physical grace and deeper compassion. I am calmer, more patient (though that’ll never be one of my strengths!), and more generous. My sense of place in the world, in ‘the family of things’ is stronger than ever, and I am learning every day to be present in the moment. This summer, I spent a weekend at Kripalu, a yoga center in western Massachusetts, and was amazed by the ease of joining their practice, by how well Tracy had prepared me to be open to new ways of thinking, and by the strong sense of belonging to the world that was physically present in my chest.

The poses still aren’t easy – I discover something new in every class – and I struggle along with my fellow yogis to improve, breathe, and deepen. I am determined to be able to stay in a lunge endlessly, to develop a handstand away from the wall, to release all judgment about my body and my life. Each class inspires me, challenges me, and grounds me, providing new possibilities for my home practice, which reinforces our collective work and builds strength as nothing but repetition can.

The community I’ve found in class is warm and welcoming, and I enjoy sharing our journey as much as I value my personal growth. The gentle support of peers provides a strong platform on which to stand. Tracy’s leadership is invaluable, setting the tone for everyone who participates – and she has an uncanny way of targeting my particular issues each time, so that I feel as if she’s speaking directly and only to me as she guides our fluid and challenging classes, though I think all of us probably feel that way.

Discovering that yoga is a journey, mind and body together, has enriched my life in ways I never could have imagined those eight years ago, and I believe that I’m still only at the beginning of this path.

"Yoga is Great at Any Age" by Renee Schwartz

“It’s amazing what you are doing now, considering who you were for the first 55 years of your life,” my mother recently said to me as I was heading out for Tracy’s Monday night Yoga class at the Tai Chi Center of Chicago. And she’s right. If someone had told me 5 years ago that I would be doing Yoga and Tai Chi and Meditation, and that I would be able to touch my toes, I would have thought they were hallucinating. So much has opened up to me since I retired in April 2003, and so much of that is a direct result of studying Yoga with Tracy.

I spent the first 55 years of my life not exactly as a couch potato, because I have always walked a lot, but certainly favoring activities of the mind over those of the body. I have always felt limited physically – not flexible, not graceful, not strong, not coordinated. Those are some pretty serious ‘nots’ when considering doing Yoga! But a funny thing happened over the last 4½ years: I am more flexible, more graceful, stronger, more coordinated.

But even more important, I realize that those are not the things that matter most to me now. Sure, I care about doing the Yoga asanas (poses) correctly, and I sometimes still get upset that I can’t do a graceful Warrior I with my arms lined up with my ears and my upper back arched. Maybe someday I’ll be able to and maybe not. What Yoga means to me now is much more than a set of physical movements – it has become an integral part of who I am and how I view life.

One of the things that I most appreciate about Tracy’s Yoga teaching style is her synthesis of the physical, the spiritual, the movement inward and outward. I hesitate to say ‘spiritual’ too loudly because I know that is a very personal place for many people. But having begun my Yoga journey as a person with strong ethical values but very limited experience with any kind of spirituality, this has become an important area of exploration for me. What Tracy made available to me was an atmosphere that encouraged this exploration without pressure, without expectations. And each class I take with Tracy reinforces the connection that Yoga has to all aspects of my life, and makes me a more fully integrated, more focused, gentler and more peaceful person.

In case this all sounds very serious, I have to say that Tracy has a great sense of humor, and one of the things that I respond to so fully is the joy and humor that she brings to her classes. It is not a frivolous humor – in fact, it enriches the class experience because it reminds me that we are real people doing something special that involves the full range of emotions.

So where do I go from here? I will continue to take Tracy’s Yoga classes three times a week (or more when possible). I will continue to feel a release of stress and a feeling of calm after class that I carry with me with gratitude. I will continue to read and explore the different physical and emotional and spiritual inquiries that I have begun through my exposure to Yoga. And I will continue to marvel as I bend over and touch my toes!